I had the nicest, funniest surprise yesterday when a pie class participant, Linda, showed up bearing a gift for me.
Behold, her barely used bottle of India Hicks Island Living perfume.
I laughed — and she laughed — because without saying a word, I knew she had read my recent blog post about my India Hicks envy.
“It’s just a little too sweet for my taste,” Linda said. “I thought maybe you might like to try it.”
I pulled off the cap, sniffed at the spray nozzle, and said, “Yes, I do like it. Thank you so much.” But then I couldn’t stop myself from adding with a laugh, “Damn her. Why did I have to like her perfume? I’m already envious enough.”
I proceeded to tell Linda about a private email I received from a woman after my post telling me how I had no reason to be envious, that India Hicks may have a perfect jaw and royal blood, but she doesn’t make pie! Case in point: “She made cupcakes for her mother’s book signing but no one ate them and she couldn’t even give them away!” (I didn’t add that last part to be catty. I was merely repeating what this woman pointed out in her email after obviously having perused India’s blog.)
“You should have your own line of perfume,” Linda replied.
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| Amazing how one photo can conjure up an impression of someone’s life — and provoke such envy |
I looked at the bottle and thought for a moment — and I remembered that picture of India Hicks, looking glamorous and carefree, driving her speedboat — with her two dogs on the bow — on those clear turquoise waters of the Bahamas.
“Yes,” I said. “I could recreate her image– and rename the perfume –to match my life.”
Here’s what the formula would be:
Two terriers — one black, one white — with bandanas instead of expensive leather collars
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| We like to pretend our huge sand-colored hay field is like a beach. |
In a canoe (no motor) on the murky green waters of the Des Moines River
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| You won’t be eating any lobster out of here. And it’s probably best to avoid eating the catfish too. |
Finally, add an native Iowan pie baker with oven burns covering her arms and absolutely no trace of blue blood…
And what you get is: