It’s a weird and heart-wrenching business, this online dating thing. And I’m not comfortable going into much more detail about it, but since I’ve whetted your appetites and you all seem so damn curious now, I’ll feed your ravenous, voyeuristic curiosity a little more. But only a little. And then I will have to stop. Because as one male friend said, “I would be afraid to date you if I thought my every move was going to be documented on your blog.” Point taken. And certainly, if/when dating more than one person at a time, any public revelations could become quite problematic.
|My love life may not be in full bloom but my garden is — and less than 2 months
since planting the seeds. If only dating were that quick and easy!
It’s been one week now since I signed up for Match.com and here are the stats to date:
791 people have viewed my profile, 80 people have emailed me, 58 have sent “winks” and 13 have designated me as a “favorite.”
I have nothing to compare these numbers to, but I suppose that’s not a bad return for a 49-year-old grieving widow living in rural Iowa. I should be flattered by the response, but I attribute it mostly to being a “new listing” on the site, like in real estate when people are only interested in seeing only the most recently listed homes. Instead of allowing my ego to get a nice boost, I simply feel bad. Why? Because what this seemingly large response tells me is that there are a lot of lonely people out there. I don’t want people to be lonely. I want everyone to be happy. Regardless of age, height, weight, income or religious beliefs, everyone deserves to be happy. Even republicans. I want to bake all these people pie. And make them feel better.
Instead, I just ignore them. And that makes me–and probably them–feel worse.
I just can’t email everyone back. While many of the emails seem sincere–people who actually read my profile, weren’t put off by my widow status and liberal leanings, and still wanted to “chat”–I don’t have time to take on the task of mass correspondence. I already have two Facebook pages, a LinkedIn page, and two Twitter accounts, on top of the daily business email churn. I have a blog to maintain and I have my latest round of book edits due. Managing a Match.com account–which is like having a whole separate Outlook email interface–on top of my regular workload is…well, it’s just too much work. In short, Match.com has proven to be both time-consuming and guilt-producing. Not a good combo.
So why haven’t I taken my profile down yet like I threatened to do after Day One? Because out of all those emails and winks and favorites and views, I have actually met a few nice people. And even though the chances are slim that they will become lovers, they will most certainly become friends. And dinner companions. Which is all I really wanted in the first place.
And that’s all I’m going to say. If you want juicy dating details, I suggest reading one of my friend Leigh Michaels’ romance novels.