In late March I began what became an extended break from Facebook. I use Twitter and Instagram too, but Facebook is my go-to social platform. It’s a place where I get to hang out with my friends and keep up with their news, which is especially valuable to me because I live on a farm where I’m surrounded by goats, dogs and cows. I need people! But I don’t need all the news….and all the noise. And Facebook was becoming too noisy and too loud for my sensitive soul.
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| The cure for loneliness. |
Envy was part of the problem. I found I was getting jealous of my friends (many of them people I have never met in person) and I was feeling bad about myself. It seemed everyone else was doing cool stuff and that I had been put out to pasture. Literally! But that’s the danger of social media. We selectively choose our posts, presenting only the highlights, showing ourselves in our best light, and giving others a very limited, very curated view of our otherwise messy, imperfect, difficult lives. I’m guilty of it too. But I’m an adult with the tools to recognize this. I have the capability to step back, assess my feelings, identify the cause of them and, even more importantly, to act. In this case, the solution was to get off — and stay off — Facebook. At least for a while.
I feel for those in our younger generations who don’t yet have the defenses or life experience necessary to ward off the dark forces of social media and all its anxiety-producing pressures. The bullying. The bragging. The negativity. The competition. It can get ugly and, as we’ve seen, even dangerous out there. Yes, there are so many, many good things that social media can do. I have made lifelong friends through it. My pie business grew because of it. My books got read thanks to it. And my World Piece pie-making trip around the world would have never been as rich and rewarding without the support I got from it.
But a break was necessary. And I am here to say the break has been hugely productive.
Taking this time away from social media has helped me stop comparing my accomplishments or goals to everyone else’s. It has helped me focus on my dreams, to ask myself what do I want? What more can I do with my life? Because I have to and want to do more! What can I do given my circumstances, living in rural Iowa and needing to stay close to home to care for my aging animals? (My terrier, Jack, is still with us. He is diabetic and blind but hanging in there, and I’m sticking by him to the end. He will be 15 on May 17, which if you know his story is a miracle!)
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| That’s Jack in the backpack. And me in my pjs. Just another day on the farm. |
Because I wasn’t filling my days — and my loneliness — reading endless posts and articles online, I freed up a lot of time and I used it — privately and quietly — to ask myself those life-probing questions. In that sacred, protected, sometimes uncomfortable space, I found my answers.
And then I got busy.
I realized that I didn’t want to travel or play or socialize. I wanted to work! I wanted to contribute something helpful to our troubled world. So I immersed myself in a new project. I spent hours alone at my farmhouse desk to produce something creative and meaningful. And in the process, guess what? I no longer felt lonely! Nor did I feel like I was missing out on anything. (Though I did miss a few birthdays and birth announcements. My apologies to those of you I’ve neglected!)
My new project was actually revisiting an old one: World Piece, my round-the-world pie-making trip I took the summer of 2015. I had previously only told snippets of it on Facebook and my blog, and finally, four years later, I sat down to document the whole story in its entirety.
I have a need to create, but also one to stretch and grow. Expanding my horizons and learning new things gives me the oxygen I require to feel alive — fully, actively alive! So instead of doing what I would normally do as a project — writing the book/memoir (which I still plan to do) — I ventured into a different medium. I taught myself how to use iMovie to tell my story visually. And while it is not perfect (because there is no such thing as perfection!) I want to share with you what came out of my Facebook break.
I humbly present you with my short film…
It is 23 minutes long. I know our online attention spans are three minutes max, but I hope you will watch the whole thing. And I hope it will inspire you to spend time away from your screens, to go make a pie, and then share that pie to connect with old friends – and make new ones – in real life. I know from experience, it will do your soul good.
Don’t worry, I’m not totally disconnecting! I still post updates on my Facebook pie page, so please like and follow me there for news.