The last time the current Republican president was in office I heard many people fretting about what other country they could move to. This time around, just over a month into his new term, I hear people worrying about having their passports up to date and their go bags ready. Go bags, filled with emergency provisions, are normally kept at the ready in case of earthquakes and wildfires. But then with the unfathomable actions by our government leaders — the slashing and burning of so many critical Federal programs, the indiscriminate firing of workers essential to our health and safety, the threat of losing Social Security benefits, our most personal data no longer secure, the cruelty toward immigrants, the poor, the LGBTQ+ community, women, and oh so much more — it feels like an earthquake and fire all at once, or more like a dumpster fire gone wild.
Amid this extreme assault on our American Constitution and the blatant abuse of power, many—including myself—are desperate to know what we can do besides flee the country.
In his newsletter called Damn-Giver Dispatch, Pastor John Pavlovitz begins with calm assurance that it’s okay to be exhausted and that we should take a pause. “Sometimes you need to take on the evil in the world,” he says, “and sometimes you need to take a nap. I’m going to do the latter.
“It isn’t irresponsible or selfish,” he continues, “it’s caring for your soul and yourself and those around you so that you’ll be here for a long time.”
Author Anne Lamott in her Washington Post opinion piece declares she’s been feeling doomed, exhausted, and quiet. “The new land looks inhospitable,” she writes. “But if we stay alert, we’ll notice that the stark desert is dotted with growing things. In the pitiless heat and scarcity, we also see shrubs and conviction.”She shares the wisdom of her Jesuit friend Father Tom Weston who says, “We do what’s possible.” And she quotes Susan B. Anthony’s grandniece who says, “Remember that the light always returns.”
Lamott, who echoes Pavlovitz’s suggestion to nap, says her new fight song is “Left foot, right foot, breathe…plant bulbs right now in the cold rocky soil, and rest.”
Resting and self-care are well and good—and necessary—as outrage and grief are indeed exhausting, but it’s the simple yet effective guidance from my friend and fellow Iowan Kathy Eldon that always come back to me when I’m down in the pit of despair. Her advice? “When you’re feeling blue, do something nice for someone else.”
Sounds simplistic, yes, but the benefits of this are scientifically proven. According to the Mayo Clinic, kindness can positively change your brain physiologically “by boosting levels of serotonin and dopamine. These neurotransmitters cause the pleasure and reward centers in your brain to light up. Endorphins, your body’s natural painkiller, also may be released when you show kindness.”
As it so happens, there is an organization dedicated to kindness. Aptly called Random Acts of Kindness Foundation (RAK for short), their tag line is “Make kindness the norm.” Their website, randomactsofkindness.org, is packed with myriad resources: suggestions to get started, workbooks, calendars, posters, graphics to share on social media, inspirational quotes, and so much more. They outline how kindness, whether at work, home, school, or in everyday life, not only improves mental and physical well-being but builds stronger connections, breaks down barriers, and inspires others to pay it forward. In other words, kindness begets more kindness.
It doesn’t cost anything to be kind. Some of RAK’s suggestions include being a friend to a lonely neighbor, cook a meal for someone who is struggling, send an encouraging email to a colleague, be generous with compliments, pick up litter, let somebody merge while in traffic, write only positive comments online. Even just saying thank you or holding the door open for someone is a good start.
Anne Lamott has some suggestions of her own related to the current state of affairs: buy groceries for food pantries, care for victims of the fires, provide refuge for immigrants, and volunteer support for public schools and libraries, to name a few.
There is so much we can do in this new era where manners and decency and even “good Christian values” have been abandoned by those in power. (Never before has an American president publicly berated another country’s leader. Talk about a lack of diplomacy!) Rest up if you need to, but I find that doing nice things for others energizes me. There’s even a term for it: “helper’s high.” Because if our current president and his administration can’t demonstrate kindness, it is up to the rest of us stay here and make America nice again.
This essay was updated from one that aired on Tri States Public Radio on February 13, 2025. To listen, go to TSPR. You might also like some of my other blog posts from the “Kindness” category.