Portland to LA…in the RV!
There is nothing like facing your fears — and overcoming them — to make you feel alive. Back in October I suggested in my post “8 Reasons to be Happy” that I would take our RV and drive to Crater Lake National Park, to honor the memory of where Marcus and I met. Seeing that […]
Seven Thanksgivings
I spent the last seven Thanksgivings with Marcus. Throughout the tumult of our marriage, often living apart on different continents, his job moving us to three different countries, our standoffs and stubbornness with each other, me threatening to leave him too many times, always finding our way back to loving each other… Throughout all of […]
Letting Go of His Stuff…Or Not
Marcus died three months ago today. When is it time to let go of his stuff? Six months? A year? Ten years? Never? We kept a storage unit here in Portland and I gathered up the nerve to set foot in it last week. Actually I went only to look for a tax document and […]
You Seem Better…
PHOTO: Returning to familiar territory. Our old house (right), my new house (left) “You seem better,” my dad said to me when I saw him this past weekend. Really? Am I better? Is better when you take the dogs on their nightly walk in your very quiet neighborhood, inadvertently get scraped by a thorny blackberry […]
My Life as a Tree
A block from Thomas and Alison’s house in Portland, this maple tree stood out as the most vibrant in the whole neighborhood. I stopped to take the picture because, in between the storm clouds, the sun illuminated its leaves to blinding shades of red and orange. Mainly I took this picture for Marcus. He would […]
8 Reasons to Be Happy
When I am able to stop my tears long enough to look around and appreciate what goodness remains in life, there is actually a lot to be happy about. After pouring all my grief out to all you loyal readers, let me share with you the little rays of positive sunshine that have managed to […]
Death: Just Talk About It!
Another road trip, another Motel 6. I am in Red Bluff, California, half way between Los Angeles and Portland, Oregon. It has been 51 days since Marcus died. I just spent ten days in LA, ten days as Melissa’s house guest, ten days of having very little time or space to cry. Ten days of […]
Back in the Saddle Again…Well, Running After the Horse
When I was 8 year old I went to horse camp — one full week of learning to groom, saddle and ride horses. I was so excited. One of the first things our horse instructor told us is that there was an award given to anyone who fell off their horse and got back on […]
Pie Fixes Everything? I Wish!
My trip to Austin was short, less that 48 hours short. What was I thinking going there at a time like this – “this” being one month since my husband died. Of course Grief came along with me, like a hitchhiker, sitting right there next to me in the passenger seat. I had to pull […]
Our Sixth Anniversary…On the Floor, On the Road
If your husband has just died and if you are anything like me, which I hope you are not, this is how you “celebrate” your sixth wedding anniversary. PHOTO: Walking toward the light. Our wedding in Alpirsbach, Germany, six years ago. You start the day by opening your eyes, struck once again with searing grief […]