What the Psychic Says

I love my grief counselor. She is helpful, compassionate and wise. I don’t know how I could have survived these past nine months without her. But because I can’t live with my grief counselor 24/7, I supplement my counseling sessions with my own forms of therapy – hiking in the forest with my dogs (see photo below), writing in my journal, yoga, massage, reading, and of course, pie baking. And even all that sometimes isn’t enough, especially on the occasions when life’s questions – like why did Marcus die, where is he, what will become of me — become too much to bear. Even my sweet grief counselor cannot come up with answers. It is during these despairing times I talk to a psychic.

(PHOTO: The best therapy of all is a hike in the forest with Team Terrier.)

Now where better to find a psychic than in LA! They’re as abundant as 7-Eleven stores. Lucky for me I was just in La-la land. So before I returned to Portland I made an appointment with a woman recommended by a friend of mine. I drove – and drove and drove and drove – to the outskirts of LA’s metropolis arriving at a suburban ranch house that smelled (and looked) like a dirty cat litter box. We’re not in Beverly Hills anymore!

The psychic, Linda — who, like Patricia Arquette on Medium, works with police to help solve murder cases — greeted me at her door. Funny, she didn’t look anything like Patricia Arquette. She looked more like Kathy Bates in “Misery.”

“Hello, Vicky,” she said. Groan. Minus points for getting my name wrong. She poured me a cup of weak coffee and we sat down at a table littered with old newspapers on top and an aging yellow lab lying underneath. I copped an attitude, kept my arms folded across my chest, and tried not to breathe in too deeply lest I contract leptospirosis from the cat fumes.

“What’s your subject?” Linda began. Without hesitation I answered, “Marcus.”

“Marcus loves you,” she said. “But you’re not going to get married.”

Groan again. Not a good start. I had to explain, “Oh, but we were married. For six years. Marcus died nine months ago.”

This took her aback. In fact, shocked is the word I would use to describe her response. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” And I’m paying how much for this??? I hugged my arms tighter around my chest. She paused for a few moments. Was she trying to channel Marcus? Eventually she settled back into her black leather swivel chair, wiped a few tears from her eyes (bonus points for having a soft heart) and began our hour-long appointment.

Here’s the thing about psychics: you never know what you’re going to get from them. Most often they’re wrong. (See above.) But what keeps me going back is that they almost always tell you what you need to hear, positive things, things that may simply affirm what you already know but just need to be reminded of. Even if it’s just some basic reassurance that in spite of your best efforts to sabotage your life — or someone you love dies and you think you can’t keep living — everything is going to be okay. In other words, life goes on.

Reassurance, though, costs money. At $125 for a session, this alone is a reason why I don’t make a regular practice of seeing psychics. But sometimes when you’re desperate a few extra bucks can be justified. That’s one tank of gas for the RV. And if I don’t buy that dress I had my eye on…
(PHOTO: The psychic was right. The wet ground is communicating with me – right through the hole in the bottom of my left rain boot!)

As I had hoped, Linda had some affirming things to say. But she also shared insights I didn’t agree with. Therefore, I felt compelled to do a Yes-No tally of her comments to see if my “reading” was worth the time and expense. Or if it was going to be like my haircut and color — a total waste of precious funds! Here we go.

1. Marcus loves you. — YES