Back in the Saddle Again…Well, Running After the Horse

When I was 8 year old I went to horse camp — one full week of learning to groom, saddle and ride horses. I was so excited. One of the first things our horse instructor told us is that there was an award given to anyone who fell off their horse and got back on […]

Pie Fixes Everything? I Wish!

My trip to Austin was short, less that 48 hours short. What was I thinking going there at a time like this – “this” being one month since my husband died. Of course Grief came along with me, like a hitchhiker, sitting right there next to me in the passenger seat. I had to pull […]

Our Sixth Anniversary…On the Floor, On the Road

If your husband has just died and if you are anything like me, which I hope you are not, this is how you “celebrate” your sixth wedding anniversary. PHOTO: Walking toward the light. Our wedding in Alpirsbach, Germany, six years ago. You start the day by opening your eyes, struck once again with searing grief […]

Dos and Don’ts to Help a Grieving Person

When someone (and by someone I mean me) is grieving there are certain things that can help – and other things that don’t help at all. This grief thing is a new experience for me (oh, and how it SUCKS!!!!), and knowing that many other people may too at some point suffer such a tragic […]

A Poem for Marcus

PHOTO: Marcus (left) with my brother, Michael. Germany 2005 My brother, Michael (we call him Miguel), wrote a poem for Marcus. Michael read it at the funeral in Portand, and my friend Alayne read it in Germany. The translation is included below.MY GERMAN BROTHERYou were an adventurous soulDEINE SEELE WAR IMMER AUF ABENTEUTER AUSAlways looking […]

How – and Where – to Grieve, to Move Forward, to Start Anew

Can a place to grieve be too quiet? After three weeks of non-stop activity, travel, funerals, and hundreds of well-wishers imparting their condolences, I am back in Terlingua, Texas. Instead of being in the center of the funeral whirlwind, I am now surrounded only by nature, pure and silent — the Chisos Mountains, prickly pear […]

Three Weddings and Three Funerals

Marcus and I got married exactly six years ago. We have three anniversaries for three different weddings on two different continents: August 22, September 6, and September 20. First was the “Standesamt,” where we got the German version of our marriage license at the Rathaus (city hall) in Tiefenbronn, Germany. It was a small ceremony […]

In Loving Memory of Marcus Iken

Marcus was my husband. He was fit. He was smart. He was stylish. He was funny. He was many things. He was also a very good pie baker. And that’s about all I can say right now because I can’t see the computer screen through my tears. I loved him and will miss him so […]

Patty Griffin is “Making Pies”

I spend an inordinate amount of time alone here in Terlingua, Texas. If not for bumping into my landlord when she walks her dog in the mornings I could go for days without any human contact or conversation. And apart from the chirping birds and the occasional clap of thunder, it’s also incredibly quiet here. […]

Pie Baker’s Block

I am experiencing an unexpected bout of pie baker’s block. Mimi needed pies for her shop this past weekend and – in spite of her letting me do six loads of laundry at her hotel last week, per our laundry-for-pie barter arrangement – I have not held up my end of the deal. I haven’t […]